Today started off pretty slow...Jon let me sleep in. Again. Dylan had spent the night with the boys so after a breakfast of sugary cereal they had fun doing god knows what in the family room...wrestling probably, watching movies and playing on the Wii. I had coerced another couple to come for dinner...haha. I say coerced just because I have made it my mission to be more outwardly friendly this year...as in spending time with new people and putting myself out there.
After finding out for sure they were coming to dinner I spent most of the afternoon wondering how dull of a hostess I would be, whether my children would let us visit and whether they would like dinner. I kept reminding myself that Jon is a really likable guy. Sometimes I am just too weird...too neurotic...and too self absorbed. :P Another friend of ours told me the other day when I apologized for possibly offending her that I was always worried about offending someone. Very astute! I do worry about offending people. I worry about people not liking me and I want to be liked. I hate that about myself. I hate that I want people to like me. I hate that I think I am unlikable and obnoxious...this of course going back to previous blogs where I hated myself for being loud and opinionated. Even though I am. And even though I blogged about accepting those things about myself.
Right now. I don't. Unfortunately, you can't take a vacation from your own neurosis.
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