We all have things about ourselves that drive us crazy. Mine? My passion or my enthusiasm. I feel things strongly...and I don't mean to imply that others don't. But I feel like I care too much...my thoughts, my feelings, they pour out of me...not in a cruel way...then the guilt would crush me...but they are a force to be reckoned with. How else to explain them except to tell the story of Sevrin receiving Christmas presents from my mom that is mentally ill and impoverished. Once two of the three presents were unwrapped he wept. He had already mentioned that he wished she hadn't spent her money on them...but seeing the gifts overwhelmed him. With what? Grief. Compassion. Empathy. The injustice of it all. And I recognized that in him. I recognize that feeling because that is how I feel things.
What do you do when you are a person that feels things strongly? When I say nothing...when I the world feels like a huge weight on me...depression sets in. I am doing nothing. I am part of the problem. My own silence condemns me.
Nothing bothers me more then the hypocrisy I see from mainstream Christianity in our country today. Having stepped back from my childhood beliefs...I feel like I see Jesus for the first time. Not the first time version. Miracles. Magic. But Jesus the man. The man who believed so strongly in what he taught...loving your enemy, caring for the poor, peace...that I don't even see the connection between him and his followers. At all. Sure I know individuals who give to others. BUT again and again I see people swallow propaganda...yes propaganda from places like Fox News...where they use Christianity to advance their own agendas. So what do you do when you see this? Should I shut up? My heart says no...it wells up at this injustice...people with power pretending to be victims. I can't help but wonder how many people like me are out there...but people that are able to muzzle themselves better. I wonder about the other times people muzzled themselves? Pre-Holocaust Germany? Before the genocide in Rwanda? What about Croatia? Where were they all when those things began...as words. Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he said family members would divide over him. Of course mainstream Christianity would say that is the separation between those sinning (whoever that may be) and those following him. What if it isn't that? What if he meant that people wouldn't have the courage to call out the Pharisees and hypocrites? We are the hypocrites and despite the fact that this passion and even this blog drives me crazy about myself...irritates and maddens me...that I can't shut the hell up about it. I can't.
I want others to speak up. I want others to learn what the Bible says about the poor, the weak, the needy. I want people to question what they see and hear on tv. I want to hear Christians admit...just for once...that Glen Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter...don't represent Christ. That they are talk show hosts...not God.
About Me
- Heather
- “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” Albert Einstein
2 comments:
I get very upset by the hypocrites in my personal life but as I read the New Testament I'm reminded that I'm a sinner like all the rest, no better than anyone else (Phil 3:12). Jesus was the only person who declined temptation to sin, the only perfect one. We aren't in heaven yet. I'm very hot-tempered about other issues, especially drugs, verbal violence and porn. It bugs me to no end that I'm so angry about those topics. Especially porn. When I was young, like 9 years old, I remember beginning to notice that women were objectified on TV and in movies and it was totally accepted. I was mortified and felt like all my privates were being exposed. It still astonishes me that others don't appear to be as outraged as I am.
My gut feeling is that Jesus would be disgusted with the Ann Coulters and Rush Limbaughs of the world. I like MY Jesus so much better than the one they purport to be speaking on behalf of. :-)
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